Pay Attention to the Positive Reinforcement

I tell my young adults that even if they messed up in school before, that when they show a commitment by their actions to complete college credits, the support will come. Most families want their children to continue their educations. What the families do not want to do is throw money at something that is more important to the parent than it is to the young adult. The only way to know how important something is to the other person is to observe what that person does with it.

When there is follow-through over time, people notice. A track record develops that other people can count on. This process is the foundation of a trustworthy relationship. None of us want to waste the good faith we are now accruing through our productive actions. I say all of this for a couple of reasons. One reason is that I have new readers because I got back to writing on my blog! I am very excited. It matters to me that people noticed. It is not something to take for granted.

The second reason is because the young adults that I work with who have messed up over and over again or got bogged in something important but not mandatory often feel that they have doomed their future and that no one believes that they can be successful. These young adults often don’t see or feel the positive reinforcements, (or positivity as my younger colleagues say), that come their way. It is important that parents notice what the young adult is doing that is in the right directions and to reinforce with positive feedback.

These young people do not know how to encourage themselves. They can undermine their productive behaviors as just doing what they are supposed to do anyway, so what’s the big deal? It is a big deal. Lives are made up of lots of little deals and some big deals. Productive daily functioning may seem like a little deal, but it really isn’t, not for these young people. They need your encouragement and positivity.

So do I. Let me hear from you. Leave comments. Let me know what you would like to have discussed.